Here’s the final post of the notes Dani used to teach with me on Authority in Marriage.  Today she’s answer: Is submission worth it?  If you’ve missed any of the posts, they can all be found  here:

Post 1 (What submission is NOT)
Post 2 (Does submitting mean I’m less valuable?)
Post 3 (How do I submit?)

I know a lot of women may feel like they need to be the spiritual leaders in their family and relationship because their husband doesn’t really believe in God or he may not have a growing, personal relationship with Him.  The Bible actually tells us exactly what to do in that situation.

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over ² by observing your pure and reverent lives. — 1 Peter 3:1-2

WOW!  Can you say that you treat your husband with the kind of respect that would show him how much Jesus really loves him everyday? Ladies, your husbands desire to be adored by you…you need to love him like Jesus loves.  You be Jesus and let God be God.

If you struggle with this, with authority in marriage, I want to give you a place to start: Ask God to change your thought life.

The next time you are faced with that feeling like “there is no way this man is suppose to lead me,” you know how the little things just dig deep…like when you see the cereal bowl sitting in the sink and you think WHY??? and your mind starts to make that list of the ways your husband drives you crazy.  Stop yourself.  Focus on what he does well.  Even if it’s a small thing, dwell on that and thank God for it!  You’ll be amazed how your heart will change towards your husband if you change your thoughts.

Ladies, I want you to know you will not be able to do this alone.  You will have to be in prayer about this and ask God to change your heart towards this issue AND your husband.  But I can PROMISE God is ready and able take your relationship to the next level if you do!

Here’s post 3 of Dani’s message on Authority in Marriage.  Today she answers: How do I submit.  If you’ve missed the others posts, click these links to catch up:

Post 1 (What submission is NOT)
Post 2 (Does submitting mean I’m less valuable?)

So, what DOES submitting to your husband look like?

I personally find that when I submit to Trey my heart is provided rest.

What do I mean by that?  Let me give you an example from our marriage.  I tend to struggle with worry.  Am I the only one?  I mean, I will spend hours thinking about the “what ifs” in our lives.  Not healthy at all.

So when we make a big decision, like buying a car or house, Satan has a field day with my thought life.  Now that we have had to do this a few times, I TRUST Trey when we have to make a final decision.  He handles all our finances and I know he honors God and our family with our money.  Therefore, I REST in the final decision, knowing he has prayed about it and will operate within God’s leading. 

So, submitting to Trey provides me rest and but it also requires something from me…RESPECT.

Let the wife see that she respects her husband. — Ephesians 5:33

I have to say…  Trey makes it easy to respect him.  He serves our family and I do not doubt his love for me.  But I’m sure some of you maybe thinking, “my husband doesn’t DESERVE my respect.”  But lets think back to last week when Trey taught on Authority Gone Wild.  God works through all authority and you can still give respect to your husband when you disagree with him.

Tomorrow, I’ll tell you HOW to do it and WHY it’s worth it!

As I said yesterday, my wife Danielle recently joined me on stage to talk about Authority in Marriage and the response has been overwhelming.  We’ve had many of the women in our church ask for the “notes” she taught from that day.  Yesterday I shared part one of those notes, today is part 2: Does submitting mean I am less valuable than my husband?

Here’s what Dani shared:

This ia a common issue that seems to strike when you try to embrace the practice of submitting to your husband.  It’s because of a lie culture has taught us.

Culture leads you to think that a woman’s worth decreases when she submits to her husband.  But let me give you some biblical truth: A woman’s value doesn’t increase or decrease if she submits to her husband because her value comes from being created in God’s image and nothing can change that.  Our value does not come from what we do, but who we are.

We are made in God’s image and nothing we do will decrease our value.

There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. — Galatians 3:28

In marriage, husbands and wives are equals on the same mission, we just have different roles.  We are both reliant on God’s grace and both called to obedience and responsibility.

For tomorrow, we’ll answer the question: “How do I submit?”

My wife Danielle recently joined me on stage to talk about Authority in Marriage and the response has been overwhelming.  We’ve had many of the women in our church ask for the “notes” she taught from that day.

Over the next few days we’ll be sharing what she taught in the hope that you’ll be able to take it and apply to your marriages (husbands, you should watch the first part…it’s all about YOUR ROLE in marriage!)

You can watch the entire message here:

Authority Issues Week 4: The S Word from Wellspring Church on Vimeo.

And here’s the first point Dani taught:

Here are 4 things submission is NOT…

1. Submission is not MINDLESS OBEDIENCE! Your husband is not the ultimate authority over you.  God is your ultimate authority.
2. Submission does not mean I never voice my opinion.   
3. Submission does not mean my husband is always right. Your husband is not by his God-given authority, automatically more valuable, gifted, competent, or intelligent than you.
4. Submission is not something women do to men in general. The Bible never commands women to submit to men in general.  If you are in a dating relationship you do not submit to your boyfriend.  He has not promised to sacrifice for you; you are not to submit to him.

Tomorrow we’ll answer this question: “Does submitting mean I am less valuable to God?”