I’m sitting in the waiting room right now. They just took my middle son, Jon, back to have minor surgery. It’s nothing big…he’s having his tonsils and adenoids removed and a tube put in one ear. It’s very routine; common. Very little risk…nothing to worry about.
Yet, here I sit…scared out of my mind. He’s my little baby and I just had to hand him over to complete strangers and listen to him cry down the hallway. I could still hear him crying as they escorted Dani and me back to the waiting room.
It went against every instinct I have as a parent to leave him, to “abandon him” to those strangers. Everything in me wanted to rush down the hall, snatch him up and take him away, to take him home. Where things are safe. I wanted to stop his pain and make him feel better.
But I didn’t…because as hard as this is, he needs it. He needs this procedure.
His tonsils and adenoids are so swollen that he snores at night….so loud that he sounds like an old man. His airway is blocked and he never gets good, deep sleep. He will feel SO MUCH BETTER when this is over. This is for his own good.
As much as it pains me now, my job as his parent is to do what is BEST for him, not what is easiest. I had to choose to allow him to be scared now, to experience a little pain now so that he would live a life that is better tomorrow. It was for his own good.
As I sit here, thinking these things, I am reminded of our heavenly Father, how much he loves us and how much he wants the BEST LIFE POSSIBLE for us. It occurs to me that I bet he’s watched me cry, watched me be afraid, watched me be confused by my present circumstances. He’s watched me feeling lonely and and confused. I know he has watched me countless times and thought “I could save him, I could fix this…I could make this ALL go away.”
But he doesn’t. Because he knows what comes next, he knows that I NEED to go through this, I need to learn from it, I need to experience where I am now to prepare me for what he has tomorrow. He knows that it’s for my own good.
He’s allowed pain because he knew that pain would lead to greater progress and a greater life tomorrow.
His words ring true to me right now:
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope–Jeremiah 29:11
May you rest today in the knowledge that your heavenly Father adores you…and that in the moments where you might feel lost, feel confused…where you might feel he’s abandoned you…he’s right there. He’s watching you and loving you. It pains him to watch you go through this…but he’s simply preparing you for what’s next…for something better.
He promises: It’s for your own good.